8 Rules for Discussing "Hot Topics" Like Jesus Did - Rule #1: Remember Your Bias
Everyone has an opinion on politics, religion, racism, justice, the environment, etc. Yet, how often do we have meaningful conversations about these topics with people who disagree with us?
When we do "talk," it's almost always online, and these "conversations" quickly descend into name-calling, yelling, and demonizing anyone who holds a different view. These kinds of interactions aren't convincing anyone, and they certainly aren't solving the problems we care deeply about.
What is a follower of Jesus supposed to do? Well, be like Jesus.
He didn't fight or run but demonstrated how to speak the truth with love no matter the person or topic.
We need to be like Him.
If we want to reach young people outside of the church or even keep the young people we have, we need to find a better way.
In this series, "8 Rules for Discussing ‘Hot Topics' Like Jesus Did" we'll go over how you can have better conversations on the most controversial issues facing us today. By taking these steps, you will understand others better, and more people will want to hear what you have to say.
The first rule for discussing hot topics like Jesus did is remembering that you're biased!
If you have two eyes and a brain, then you are biased. Try as you may, you will never fully see things from another person's point of view.
We all like to think our opinions are spontaneous, subjective, and devoid of outside influence.
This is not true.
When discussing complex topics, it's easy to forget the myriad of factors that influence our perspectives. Some include gender, socio-economic status, country, family dynamics, education, social influences, and many more.
I will always be a white male, who grew up in the Netherlands, New Zealand, and now in the USA. I've lived in peace, had access to excellent education, and never experienced any significant financial difficulty.
These are but a few of the many factors that powerfully shape how I see the world.
The problem is no two people share the same childhood, environment, or experiences. This proves to be a substantial barrier to understanding each other's perspectives.
Many years ago, I was in training for a new job. One session covered the topic of bias. This job required us to talk to strangers on the phone every day. The instructor was sharing how our preconceptions of people can significantly impact the way we treat them.
Being young and naive and never having experienced this myself, I didn't take this idea too seriously.
The instructor asked if anyone in the class had experienced this type of bias. For the next hour, several young African American guys shared their experiences. I was horrified. Story after story of abuse, mistreatment, and harassment simply because of the color of their skin.
This was eye-opening and a powerful reminder of the forces that shape our view of the world.
Every person you meet will have a story that's different from yours. Ignoring this will severely impact your ability to have productive conversations, especially on difficult "hot topics."
The best way forward is to accept that you are biased. This is not a denial of absolute truth but an admission that no one person sees the whole picture.
The goal of recognizing our limited perspective is humility, and being humble helps everything.
Work to overcome the limitations of your vantage point through empathy and commitment to listening first.
Doing this will equip you to have effective conversations on any subject with any person.